Update: April Fools, everyone! As many of you have already figured out, this entire post is a joke, so please don’t take anything inside seriously :]
Original post continues below!
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As you might already know, I’ve been a full-time indie iOS developer for about a year and a half now. In that time, I’ve written some tutorials about iOS development and have released some apps on the App Store.
It’s been an amazing journey, with lots of ups and downs, 5-stars and 1-stars, w00ts and rages.
However, there gets to be a time where enough is enough, and you just can’t take it anymore.
Today I’ve decided to throw in the towel – and become an Android Dev!
And no, it’s not because WWDC sold out ;]
Wonder why I’ve had a change of heart? Read on, my friends, and maybe you will too.
One App Store™ Just Isn’t Enough
First off let’s state the obvious. Apple only has one App Store™, while Android has at least 3 “stores that sell apps”.
And we all know, more is better!
- More forms! I love paperwork, it makes me feel important and official, plus it keeps me away from petty distractions like having a date with my wife or seeing my friends.
- More places to submit! Code signing, filling out web forms, and uploading builds is my favorite time of the app development cycle. Now I can enjoy it more than once!
- More app approvals and rejections! When my app gets rejected, I treat it as a victory, since it’s a learning experience. Now I can get a lot more of these!
- More places where people can buy your app! I expect this will make me at least 3x richer.
More Screen Resolutions and Hardware Capabilities
It’s getting old only having to get my code to work at two resolutions and on known hardware. After doing this for so long, honestly it bores me.
I think it’s a lot more fun if you have to write your apps to adapt to many different resolutions, including 320×480, 480×800, 480×320, 320×455, and a bunch more that I can’t be bothered to type right now.
It’s also a fun challenge to fix random bugs that occur only on some of the hundreds of different Android devices out there.
After all, bugfixing, hacks, and rework is the most fun part of writing apps, and I want to go where the fun is!
I’d Rather Others Set My App’s Price
I’m sick and tired of having to decide what price my apps sell at, and have to change it myself when I want it to go on sale.
As far as I’m concerned, Amazon can handle all that sh*t. After all, they’re a big succesful company and I’m just an indie dev making apps, what do I know?
By letting Amazon handle setting the price for me, I won’t have to worry about it anymore, and surely they will have my best interests at heart. I will be rich through the volume discounts!
Java Is Da Bomb
Who programs in Objective-C anymore, honestly? C, C++, and Objective-C are programmatic dinosaurs that should have been long forgotten, now that we have the most excellent language ever made, and you know what it is…
Java! It’s by far the best language, I know this because why else would Oracle and Google be fighting to the death over it?!
And with Java, you don’t have to worry about anything. You don’t have to worry about delegates or protocols, retains or releases, Instruments or Sharks, or having your code run at a decent speed.
Visual Interface Design is for Pansies
Only wimps use crutches like Interface Builder.
You get lazy dragging and dropping labels and buttons to construct GUIs.
Real hardcore programmers code everything themselves in XML, heck yeah.
If you can’t completely visualize every x,y coordinate as you’re typing in your code, go home n00b!
Money is Overrated
And last but not least, I’d just like to say that money is overrated.
When I ask my friends who have Android devices how many apps they’ve bought, and they just LOL, I say “well, money can’t buy happiness.”
And when I check my RSS feeds and see articles like this, I just think, “meh, I just do it for the love.”
We all know that if you’re a true indie developer, all you need is some ramen, a cup of hot water, and a heart bursting with a passion for making apps.
So Farewell, and Thanks For All the Fish
It’s been lovely working and coding with you guys, but as you can see, the evidence is compelling – if I didn’t switch markets immediately, I would be making a foolish mistake.
For those of you foolish enough to stay behind, I give you a warm-hearted LOL, and for those of you wise enough to take the leap with me, may we have a pleasant day ahead!
Before you bombard the forum discussion below with your thoughts, criticism, and flames as we embark on this new adventure, please do me one favor first… check the date of this post! :]